Casting Call: Max Payne 3

Making a movie out of a videogame is pretty much always going to be a terrible idea, as anyone who remembers the Max Payne film of 2008 can verify. But with the return of the gritty noir shooter series to consoles in a few weeks time, it is perhaps only a matter of time before Hollywood reboots the film franchise and pretends the original never happened. Rockstar, who have inherited the game series from creators Remedy, have taken the story of Max Payne 3 into some bold new territory, first by upping sticks and plonking the action in sunny San Paolo, and second by giving the titular Max a shaved head and a beard. This will narrow down the casting opportunities for the main role in the inevitable film remake, and I’ve helpfully included a list of actors who would fit the bill.

Bushy.

Brainy.

Travolty.

Melony.

Starey.

Thespy.

DeVity.

Flo Ridy.

No need to thank me, Rockstar.

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